done many risky things during my years of traveling
around the globe: unwittingly worked near a Black
Widow spider in Mexico and walked in downtown Las
Vegas and LA late at night, to name but a few. But
never before has my life been so at risk as when
I dared to interrupt Marty McCool's Tom Cruise Weekend
say Marty is Tom Cruise's number one fan would be
a huge understatement. In fact, Marty's adoration
of the man and his acting goes so far as to make
him believe that he actually looks like Tom Cruise.
This belief has been promoted by himself so much
so that the people of Wexford are actually starting
to call him Tom. In fact, there are people in Wexford
who don't even know his real name.
near-death experience came one night when Marty
was engrossed in the last of the Tom Cruise trilogy
being shown on TV3. Now, this is the man who religiously
watches Born on the Fourth of July every week, so
it really wouldn't be wise to interrupt him now.
Marty was already annoyed that he was on reception
duty at Kirwan House this particular evening, and
that people were having the audacity to phone up
or arrive at the door during this time. As I watched
the ever growing frustration on Marty's face my
sardonic sense of humour reared its ugly head and
I hatched a nasty thought.
Nika and I went out for a drink I just couldn't
resist the temptation to ring the doorbell. Fortunately
I was halfway down the street when Marty appeared
at the front door and realised it was me.
Marty must have realised in the nick of time that
to run down the road and plant a fist in my face
would only result in more lost viewing time of Mr
Cruise. Thus he simply yelled a few unsavoury words
and returned to the TV room, leaving my nose and,
most importantly, our friendship well and truly